


When It Stops Being Fun

by faithharkness



Series: Diversions [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU-everybody lives, Crack, F/M, Oh gods I committed fic, Snark, Swearing, don't let the title fool you, it'll always be fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5717935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithharkness/pseuds/faithharkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because it's true doesn't mean it's accurate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It Stops Being Fun

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a lot of fics where Rey is virginal and doesn't know about sex (and I am not knocking them, because they are by and large _amazing_ ), and then the thought of Rey being knowledgeable and mischievous about it kind of grabbed me by the throat. Also, I think Jessika Pava may be my spirit animal.
> 
> This is my first fic in this fandom, so please be gentle.

Finn almost spat his drink all over the table. From the look Jessika gave him from her seat across from him, he thought it was probably best he held it in instead of spraying it at her, even if it did burn up his nose. He coughed until he could breathe properly.

“Say that again,” Finn demanded of the young pilot who had caused his fit.

The pilot—one of the new additions to Jess’s squadron that he had heard her complaining about—smirked. “I said, is that where you found Rey on Jakku? In the brothel?”

Finn took a deep breath and concentrated on not breaking the plastic utensil in his grip and stabbing the sharp end into the pilot’s—Tack? Sack? Jack?—eye socket. He sharpened his gaze on Sack—it was probably Jack, but no matter—evaluating the man the way the First Order had taught him to evaluate a target.

Jess leaned back in her chair, her expression clearly indicating she couldn’t _wait_ to see where this went. A tiny voice in the back of Finn’s head—the voice that sounded like the re-education droids—said that Jess was a degenerate pilot. He spared a moment to think he may have an affinity for degenerate pilots.

Sack was no degenerate. He was just an asshole.

“ _Where_ did you hear that Rey was in a brothel?” he asked very carefully, enunciating each word.

Sack, suddenly realizing he _may_ have said the wrong thing to the wrong person, tried to lean back casually. It worked until Jess kicked his chair, causing him to grab the table to keep from falling over.

“Well?” Finn prompted.

“I heard it from her own mouth!” he protested.

“Really?” Jess asked. “She just walked up to you in the hangar and said, ‘Hey, guess what? I was in a brothel on Jakku.’”

“She didn’t say it to _me_.”

“Oh, and he was so close to being worth the effort,” Jess muttered.

“But I heard her say it to Commander Dameron,” Sack said.

“In what context? Because anything they said while they’re playing cards is most likely a diversion,” Finn said.

Jess lifted a brow at him.

Finn would die before admitting in front of Sack that, yes, he had learned that lesson the hard way.

“She and Dameron had been working on the _Falcon_ and she had managed to twist herself into a nearly impossible position to reach a wiring cluster. He complimented her on her form and she said it was something she’d picked up in the brothel,” Sack replied.

“And you’re sure you heard her correctly?”

Sack nodded. “Dameron laughed and called her a liar. Her response was, ‘Haven’t I ever told you about when I worked in a brothel?’”

“When would she have told him that?” Finn demanded.

“Weell, you were in a coma for about two months. They talked a lot as they sat vigil. Like, _a lot_ ,” Jessika commented. “The only time they weren’t there was when they were holed up with General Solo.”

Finn flinched. Everyone knew Chewbacca had shot Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base, allowing the Resistance to capture him and bring him back. Many people knew that the man was going through intense de-conditioning to dismantle brainwashing done by Snoke. However, only a select few knew Kylo Ren was Ben Solo; therefore, only those few knew about the raging arguments that had taken place between Chewbacca and Han Solo. Poe and Rey had mediated as best they could while Chewie refused to apologize for upholding his life debt and Han refused to apologize for being upset that Chewie had shot his son. They had eventually begun to mend fences, and the duo was leaving with Rey in a few days to find Luke Skywalker. Apparently, Han wasn’t done with yelling at old friends.

“Can I go now?” Sack asked nervously.

“Who have you told about this?” Finn asked.

“About Rey working in a brothel?” Sack replied, not bothering to lower his voice. “Why would I keep it to myself? I mean, have you seen the way she moves? The way she and Dameron are always in each other’s pockets? It’s gotta be the truth.”

Jess facepalmed.

The fork in Finn’s hand snapped. 

“Here’s a thought, why don’t you ask Rey about it? Make sure you didn’t hear her wrong?” Jess said.

“I _didn’t_ hear wrong.”

She lifted her hands. “I believe you. But some of the others around here—people who have made friends with Rey—may want verification from the horse’s mouth.”

“That’s a very good idea,” Sack said, standing.

“I think she was going to work on hand-to-hand combat in the training rooms,” Jess called after him.

“ _You_ are a terrible person,” Finn said.

“Yeah, but I’m wildly entertaining.”

“That you are.”

“Wanna go watch her wipe the floor with him?” Jess asked.

“We should probably grab Poe from the hangar. He won’t want to miss this,” Finn said as he stood.

“Oh, Poe’s in the training rooms. Who did you think she was sparring with?”

“Let me guess, he mentioned something about wanting to see her work a very large staff?” Finn asked.

Jess nodded.

“That’s why people think they’re having sex.”

Jess snorted. “People think they’re having sex because people have eyes in their heads.”

Finn tripped over a chair.  
*****

“Rey!”

Rey finished her move, landing on Poe’s stomach, before turning her head to look at the speaker. She had felt him enter the room, but as several people had meandered in and out to watch her and Poe spar throughout the afternoon, she didn’t pay him any heed until he spoke.

“Good form dictates you not interrupt people when they’re sparring. Someone could get hurt,” she scolded.

Poe laughed and rested his hands on Rey’s thighs. “On the other hand, actual battle has many distractions. Adds some realism.”

Rey pressed both hands hard against his chest and pushed herself onto her feet. Poe let out an _oof_ , for show more than anything.

“He shouted _my_ name and I still took you down,” she said, nudging his ribs with her toe.

She turned her attention fully to the intruder. “Did you need something?”

“Well, I…”

“Yes?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Poe prop himself up on his elbows. She didn’t need to be able to read his mind to know he was angling for a better view of the proceedings.

“We were kind of in the middle of something, champ,” Poe prompted.

“Right. My name is Jack. I’m one of the pilots and—”

“Which squadron?” Rey interrupted.

“Blue.”

“One of Jess’s baby pilots,” Poe offered.

Rey studied Jack. “Hmmm…haven’t had one of you guys yet. Get on the mat.”

“What? With Dameron?”

Poe kipped up onto his feet. “Oh, I’m just going to watch.”  
*****

Finn almost yelped as a firm hand closed around his upper arm, yanking him out of the doorway and against the wall.

“Saved you a good spot,” Poe whispered as he let go of Finn’s arm.

Jess snorted as she settled in on Poe’s other side. She glanced around and discovered that there was quite a crowd hovering around the edges of the room.

“Did we miss anything?” Finn asked, quietly.

Poe shrugged. “Nothing you haven’t seen her do before. I think the poor sap still believes this is foreplay.”

“Where did Statura find this kid?” Jess asked, shaking her head.

“Your home planet, I hear,” Poe replied.

Jess stomped on his foot.

Rey hissed at them without taking her eyes off her opponent.

“She doesn’t like being left out of the snark,” Poe explained.

“How did she know?” Finn asked.

“She’s very attuned to me,” Poe replied with a lazy smile.

“This is why people think you’re fucking,” Jess whispered.

“I thought it was because she screams my name whenever we’re in the _Falcon_.”

“She does that because you keep touching things you shouldn’t,” Finn hissed.

Jess and Poe looked at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard it.”

A grunt from the young pilot brought their attention back to the show in front of them.

“Round of drinks says she takes him down in five moves,” Finn said.

“Two says she drags it out at least another 20 minutes,” Poe countered.

“Three says she takes him out in three moves and drags Dameron out of here by his belt,” Jess said.

“I’m not wearing a belt.”

“I meant it euphemistically.”

“I’ll take that bet,” Finn said.

In the end, it was four moves in 15 minutes, but Rey did drag Poe out of the room after her by his shirt.

“You get first round, I’ll get second?” Jess asked Finn, linking her arm through his.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Jess stopped on their way out to make sure some of her squadron took care of Jack.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Finn asked.

“It’s just his pride, and that needed a good spanking. He’ll be down in the canteen later with the rest of the squad,” she replied.  
*****

“Oh, Maker, yes, right _there_!” Poe groaned, tilting his head back. “You’re amazing.”

Rey pressed her knuckles harder into the arch of his left foot, which was resting comfortably in her lap.

“Hey, get back to it,” she replied.

Poe shifted and dug his fingers into the muscle of her calf, massaging the tension out of it.

“Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy it every single time, but when are you going to tell people you worked security for the brothel?” Poe asked, his fingers dancing up her leg.

She smiled and let go of his foot, crawling into his lap.

“When it stops being fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> There is an _awesome_ collage made by the amazing koalathebear here: http://koalathebear.tumblr.com/post/137616268836/star-wars-fic-fec-nerf-herder-by-faithharkness#disqus_thread
> 
> Go, bask in its beauty.


End file.
